In today’s world marriage can be tough on a girl. Most of us are taught that men and women are equal, encouraged to be independent and given the freedom to choose a career. Some of us were the princesses of our homes. Talking from my own experience, I come from a family where I just had to express my desire and my dad would literally go miles to fulfill it for me. I was indeed a princess. A much spoilt princess. And perhaps that was one reason where I wanted things to happen my way on my day.
We are taught to fight for our freedom. We are taught to stand for what is right and stand against what is wrong. We know what is fair and we are taught to boil for what is unfair. But when it comes to marriage ladies, all these very lessons are exactly what are not to be followed.
Women are the weaker sex. I do not argue that. But somehow, a wife always has that secret stash of energy that only God can release. Before my marriage, I would get up, eat the food that someone always prepared for me, went to work and came back home completely tired to the point where I could not do anything else but sleep. The same me, today, gets up at 6 in the morning, makes breakfast, prepares lunch, goes to work, comes home, cooks for the night, cleans the house and then sleeps. For some wives, add doing the dishes to the list. My darling hubby is awesome enough to help me with the dishes. Now I wonder. Where on earth do I get the energy to do all this? I can only call it God Power.
Someone once said, ‘God does not call the qualified but qualifies the called’. And rightly said too. I firmly believe that for every wife, there is a special grace that the Lord provides. It takes a while to recognize this grace and power but it is there all along. My advice to a new wife, hold on to God and enjoy His grace.
For a long time, I could not understand this grace. Everything seemed unfair. All I kept asking and thinking was, ‘Why should I be the one to do all the house work?’ ‘Why should I be the one who has to cook every day? ‘In what way am I different from my husband that I have to also work once I come back home?’ ‘Don’t I deserve my rest?’ ‘How can he demand food from me?’ The truth is, I still don’t have an answer for all these questions. If I try to reason it out, it seems unfair. But I’ve understood God’s grace. And somehow that is enough for me to get past these thoughts.
This is one area where we women have to put aside logical reasoning and just believe that God knows what He is doing. Every time I have these questions in my head, I try to think of it as an opportunity to serve my family. As an opportunity where I can cultivate the fruits of the spirit. On extreme days, I think about the cross. What Jesus had to do on the cross was not fair. But He never complained. If He could do it because He loved me, I can do this simple chore because I love God and my family. On days that I have left these questions disturb me; I’ve been robbed of my peace. I would find myself overwhelmed and crying for no reason. And now, I’ve become a little wise not to leave these thoughts unattended but to nip them in the bud with Praise and songs. That works!